Strategies for Rigid Kids
Living with an explosive and rigid child, we have tried quite a few strategies to help make daily life and special events go smoothly and more enjoyable. Here are a few that we find work most consistently:
1. Write everything on a calendar (including bath night). Visual schedules are a huge help. They reduce anxiety and are a good starting point for conversations to occur that will prep your child about any upcoming events. If we have a family celebration, we start talking about wearing "party clothes" and prepping for the number of people that may attend. We also plan to have a lazy day before and/or after the party to help distress or desensitize.
2. Use a timer to help your child get ready in the morning (e.g., set the timer for 10 min to get dressed and brush teeth). Make it a game, "Beat the Clock".
3. Leave yourself extra time to be anywhere. Rushing adds anxiety and un-needed stress on everyone involved.
4. Plan ahead. Feed your child prior to any event. Lack of food can lead to meltdowns. Avoid TV before any scheduled event, like hockey, skating lessons, etc. Transitions are harder when the TV is on.
5. Early to bed. Some kids needs routine and early bed times. Lack of a schedule for rigid kids can lead to major explosions. Our kids need 11 hours of sleep typically. We make sure that they get a good night sleep, especially on a school night or before an event.
6. Make an escape plan. Always have an alternative plan to leave or escape if a meltdown occurs or your child needs a "break" (e.g., a non-consequential time out). We usually travel as a family of 4, so if need be, one parent leaves with the child if necessary. We decide what we will do, should something occur, prior to going out. For example, one parent sticks with the explosive child and the other goes with the sibling.
7. Avoid sugar and food dye. Neither are metabolized well by my child. Especially important to avoid prior to an activity requiring attention (e.g., Kung Fu, school, etc.) or before a major event. Any change in schedule or sensory stimulation (e.g., loud noise) can trigger an explosion quicker when sugar or food dye is involved.
1. Write everything on a calendar (including bath night). Visual schedules are a huge help. They reduce anxiety and are a good starting point for conversations to occur that will prep your child about any upcoming events. If we have a family celebration, we start talking about wearing "party clothes" and prepping for the number of people that may attend. We also plan to have a lazy day before and/or after the party to help distress or desensitize.
2. Use a timer to help your child get ready in the morning (e.g., set the timer for 10 min to get dressed and brush teeth). Make it a game, "Beat the Clock".
3. Leave yourself extra time to be anywhere. Rushing adds anxiety and un-needed stress on everyone involved.
4. Plan ahead. Feed your child prior to any event. Lack of food can lead to meltdowns. Avoid TV before any scheduled event, like hockey, skating lessons, etc. Transitions are harder when the TV is on.
5. Early to bed. Some kids needs routine and early bed times. Lack of a schedule for rigid kids can lead to major explosions. Our kids need 11 hours of sleep typically. We make sure that they get a good night sleep, especially on a school night or before an event.
6. Make an escape plan. Always have an alternative plan to leave or escape if a meltdown occurs or your child needs a "break" (e.g., a non-consequential time out). We usually travel as a family of 4, so if need be, one parent leaves with the child if necessary. We decide what we will do, should something occur, prior to going out. For example, one parent sticks with the explosive child and the other goes with the sibling.
7. Avoid sugar and food dye. Neither are metabolized well by my child. Especially important to avoid prior to an activity requiring attention (e.g., Kung Fu, school, etc.) or before a major event. Any change in schedule or sensory stimulation (e.g., loud noise) can trigger an explosion quicker when sugar or food dye is involved.
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