Parenting with Purpose

 

 

Parenting isn't easy, especially if your child has challenges. Dealing with the issues themselves are one battle and the other is being judged by others who don't really understand what we are going through on a daily basis. It may be a look, or a whisper, or unwanted advice ... either way, they have no idea why I may be giving in or bargaining with my child who is melting down in the middle of a store. Generally, we parent with a purpose. We try to plan ahead (even if it means putting bath night on the calendar, seriously), and set our kids up for success (e.g., make sure they have eaten, pack snacks, they are well rested, etc.) so that we can avoid meltdowns at home and in public, but nothing is guaranteed.

 

 A friend of mine lent me this book (below) and I have read through most of it in a short time.  Its a great read with many examples and solutions to problems. It recognizes that kids who have trouble regulating their emotions are actually suffering from "lagging" skills, similar to kids who have difficulty reading or with math. It also gives suggestions to help teach your child to improve these lagging skills.  I recommend it for any parent.

 

This book reinforces the "parent with a purpose" phrase. Teach kids their lagging skills, don't punish them for it. You wouldn't punish a kid who has a learning disability would you? 

It takes planning, time, patience, and practice. 

The point of this post is to be kind, have empathy for other parents of children who may be melting down in public; I've been there. I have also judged. Until you have a child, you don't fully understand. I do now, and eat my words regularly.

~Jen